Just another day in..... paradise?

Well my senior year is going.... well it's going. That's about it. I have been struggling to keep up with everything and feel extremely overwhelmed. With work, school, college, friends, and my obnoxious family. I am falling apart. I only have one escape and that's being with my friends. They help so much because I can tell them anything I want. The only problem is...... they aren't here either. They have other things to do like college stuff or being with their boyfriends or work or whatever they do. I really don't know anymore because I don't keep up anymore. I have one friend that I can tell anything to but I hardly ever see them. Maybe a few times a week and that's all. They are very special to me but there's complications involved and I really don't know what to do with that either. I feel like everyone else has left me for something...... better. Trevor also is someone who is a sweetheart to me, but isn't someone I can talk to about things. He just doesn't understand my problems or stresses. He just doesn't seem to care enough to understand, but that's OK because it's not really his problem. He is dear to me though and tries to comfort me even if he doesn't understand why I am randomly in tears. I really miss being a freshman when I wasn't worried about my life after high school or how I was going to pay for college or even what college I am going to. I used to be so focused on school and now I just want to live my life and have fun and now is not the time for that. I need to focus on school again and college and how I am going to make it on my own. Sooner or later I won't have the few friends that I do have and I will be completely on my own. I don't know if I will be able to handle that too. I have so many opportunities to play soccer in college and I just don't know if that's what I want. I could get a scholarship for almost anywhere I want because a recruiter can get me wherever, but I don't know where I would want to go or anything really. I didn't think I would get these opportunities to play soccer like this because our team isn't very good, but I guess someone noticed me and told others. I really love soccer but I don't know if playing in college is "my thing." It seems like it will be a lot more serious and stressful and more people will be watching and all sorts of things. Then there's work. I have always hated that job and I always will. END OF STORY! I just wish I could actually take my time and enjoy my senior year, but that's almost impossible when I have people bothering me with drama and stressing me out with their problems. Trust me I have problems too and I don't mind listening to yours, I just don't want to hear about the same thing ten thousand times.